I love people. I love relationships. Relationships are important. But – at the risk of being controversial – when it comes to the mission of Jesus, I think I’ve heard more about relationships in recent times than is healthy.
This post, which a pastor-friend of mine retweeted just about sent me over the edge. The author quotes statistics which suggest that the USA is very open to the gospel, talks about faith to overcome fear being required to share the gospel. And then he says most of all we have to develop relationships with those outside the church.
I don’t want to be beligerent or be pedantic about something the author might not have intended. But this is a funny conclusion to draw. I went to comment on it, but it wouldn’t let me. So here are my thoughts on the matter….
I agree relationships are important. If we are to be salt and light and fruitful for God then we must engage with the unbelieving world around us. However, they’re not the only factor – and possibly not as important as many have made them of late. If anything your statistics show that people are far more open than we think – and probably need less weight of relationship than we assume.
Jesus was called friend of sinners because he spent time with non-religious types. However, I don’t get the impression he spent very long at all before sharing the life-giving message of the gospel. He loved people enough to do it quickly. In fact, if you consider how long his earthly ministry was, and how much he travelled, he simply couldn’t have done “friendship evangelism” in quite the way most people use the term.
I have some friends who I have known for many years who I eventually played a part in leading to Christ. The sad truth is that much of the time when I said I was “building relationship” I was actually too immature and insecure to share the gospel. I also have friends who I am now still sharing the gospel with and trusting to get saved – but I shared the gospel with them quite quickly and continue to build relationship with them while continuing to share the gospel.
I can also say that the most in-depth, open, and well-received gospel conversation I have had recently was with somebody I met on the street and had no relationship with before meeting them.
The difference between Jesus and the angry guy on the street corner is not the relationships he had with unbelievers. It’s that he lived and communicated the gospel with compassion, grace, mercy, clarity, prophetic accuracy etc. People found that compelling – whether they had relationship with him or not.
As Rice Broocks said recently, “Evangelism is not just relationship: You don’t have to know a drowning person to save their life” http://www.churchplanting.com/2011/06/21/evangelism-is-not-just-relationship/
Thanks for your blog, Dan. It’s thought provoking and – in my view – true.
I agree that a compelling, Spirit-filled, compassionate, and credible Christ-like witness goes a long way in reaching the unreached, without having had to necessarily foster a lengthy and personal relationship with someone.
Blessings,
Morgan
Dan, I agree that the kind of relationship necessary for sharing the gospel can be built in about a split-second, especially when we are close to someone’s point of pain (as in the drowning man image). But I also see that from the garden of Eden, God has related to people. The mission of God is to reconcile the world into a restored relationship with Himself, and as a byproduct, each other as well. He didn’t choose to send angels to tell the gospel, but our fellow man. Martin Lloyd-Jones defined preaching as “the communication of divine truth through human personality.” So what I see in history is that God is filling the earth with a knowledge of Himself through people.
I re-read Jon’s article and noticed that he doesn’t even talk about relationships until the end. He even cites two other ways of preparing to share before he mentions relationships. I’m cool with your perspective, but not sure why Jon’s article sent you “over the edge.”
Billy Graham wasn’t personal friends with all the people he led to Jesus and I don’t think Jon or I or any other intelligent leader would argue that a personal relationship is required for someone to come to faith. But it was Billy himself who said that more people would be brought to Jesus through one-on-one relationships than in all of the crusades he could ever preach.
God is a highly relational God who sent His highly relational Son to restore people to a relationship with God so that they could share the gospel through relationships. Is it the only way? No, but it’s been the predominant way for a few thousand years.
Hey Brandon,
Thanks for dropping by! I FULLY agree with God being relational and our mission being relational, and am a strong proponent of this. I also agree that there’s good helpful stuff in the article, and I don’t actually think Jon intended the “most of all we need to build relationships” to have quite the emphasis I reacted to
As I’m sure you appreciate, it’s rarely the one thing that sends people over the edge, but everything that leads up to it
I’ve taught on relational discipleship, I’ve preached messages on how we need to be friends of sinners. I think that if you, Jon, and I were to sit and have a drink and a chat we’d agree on what evangelism is and how we must do it. However, I have been increasingly troubled of late, that a lot of what people call evangelism should more accurately be simply called “making friends”. Rarely is that actual gospel preached, and many use “friendship evangelism” as a smokescreen to cover up the fact that we’re more like Peter around the fire than we are like Peter on the day of Pentecost.
And before I set up a pedestal for me to fall off, let me say quite clearly that I also face this battle myself everyday, so I’m preaching to myself as well!